Don and Jess: Sex, Lies and Silicone
by LacytheRomanWerewolf
Summary: Yeah no real summary but come on you want to read it. FA DL


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Lacy here. On to the next story. Oh for all the men who read my stories, do you really have life size dolls that are used to replace women? I'm not judging, I'm just really curious.(E/N: Curious my **) And ladies, if you happen to know the answer, please let me know. Now this episode is one of the best for the season.(E/N: AGREE!) I love it, it is so funny. Again, I don't have a real summary so have fun.

Disclaimer: Really? Do you think after all this time I'm going to change my mind?

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"This is one of those things that you men have that I never wanted to know existed." Jess said as Don explained his last case to her.

Don laughed. "Don't look at me Jess, I didn't know either. And surprisingly Messer was just as clueless as I was."

Jess looked up from the file she was writing in. "Now that is surprising." Getting an evil grin on her face she continued. "Though with Lindsay around, I suppose he doesn't need to know about things like that."

Don groaned. "Jessica did you have to go there?"

Jess laughed. "Yes Donald I did. Just to see that look on your face."

Don leveled Jess with his best glare. "You are an evil woman Jessica Flack."

His glare and her smug look broke into sweet smiles at Don's words. No matter how long they were married, they would both always love the sound of his last name following her first.

"Are you two at it again?"

The two turned and saw Jarvis walking towards them smiling.

"At what sir?" Jess asked, a smug smile crossing her face once more.

"You said something that grossed your husband out and now he's calling you evil and you're looking smug." Jarvis said.

Jess shrugged. "What can I say? He makes it so easy."

Don glared at her again. "You weren't this bad before we were married."

Jarvis laughed. "That's because you were just dating. Now that you are married, she can get away with anything and you just have to live with it."

Don grumbled while Jess joined Jarvis in laughing.

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"You wouldn't trade me for a doll right?" Lindsay asked as she watched Danny make dinner.

Danny froze. "Why does that feel like a trick question?"

Lindsay laughed. "No trick Danny. Just an honest question."

Danny leaned back against the counter. "Nah I wouldn't. What's the fun of having something around you can't hold an actual conversation with? Or get into fights with? I'd find it way too boring."

Lindsay decided to mess with Danny some. She crossed her arms and raised a brow.

"So I'm only around for conversations and fights?" She asked.

Danny pointed a wooden spoon at her. "I knew the question was a trick."

Lindsay shook her head with a laugh. "Knew I couldn't pull one over on you."

Danny smiled. "Back to your other question. While you're good to have around for conversations and fights, not that I like those, you're also nice to have around for other things."

Lindsay smirked. "Oh really." she walked over to Danny and placed her arms around his neck. "Like what other things?"

Not answering, Danny kissed Lindsay and directed her out of the kitchen.

"What about dinner?" Lindsay asked.

Danny placed a kiss on her neck. "It can wait, I want dessert first."

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Jess laughed. "She really did that in the middle of the street?"

Don nodded. "Still haven't gotten her back yet."

Jess gave Don a look. "Well in her defense, you asked for it. You walked right into it after that comment, which we will get back to later."

Don sensed trouble. "Hun, you know I'd never ditch you for a doll."

Jess smirked. "Oh I know, but don't think you're getting out of that comment that easily."

Don sighed. "Should have known it wouldn't be that easy."

"Never is babe." Jess said, her smirk growing.

Don stood up from his desk. "Well if you're done teasing me, are you ready to go home?"

Jess quickly wrote one more thing on her report before tossing it in her outbox and standing up.

"Yup! Ready when you are." Jess said.

Don followed Jess out of the squad room.

"What are the chances that I'm off the hook?" Don asked as they climbed in the car.

Jess laughed as she buckled her seat belt and looked at Don. "Not a chance in hell Don." Jess said. "But I think I can let it go for now."

Don frowned. "What do you want?"

"What makes you think I want anything?" Jess asked as Don pulled the car out

into traffic.

"Because you are willingly letting something go that you could get a lot of mileage on." Don said.

"If I do want something," Jess said. "and I'm not saying I do, you won't find out until you least expect it."

Don smiled at Jess as they stopped at a red light. "You are very tricky Mrs. Flack."

Jess leaned over and gave Don a kiss. "Don't I know it!"

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Ok that whole thing sounded weird to me but let me know what you think, flame policy is there and thanks for reading.

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Sarah here! I'd just like to say that I've put up another chapter for another story and blah blah blah. Just go check out my profile and PLEASE? read my stories. And maybe answer my poll? :D Kisses!


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